Recent things have happened that were not good so my hubby %26amp; I decided to restrain her %26amp; take her phone off of her as we thought he would not be able to contact her %26amp; brainwash her anymore. Well she went crazy, arms %26amp; legs thrashing about all over the place, her phone dropped out of her bra (as this is where she keeps it) onto the floor so my hubby picked it up %26amp; went outside to remove the sim card, meanwhile I rang Social Services as I really didn鈥檛 know what else to do as our daughter was planning to move into this lads parents house with him.
Social Services weren鈥檛 much help. As I was on the phone my hubby came in %26amp; said our daughter has gone, I mentioned this to the Social worker %26amp; she said leave it 2/3 hours then report her to the police as missing, which I did. I then got a call from the Police saying they have our daughter in the station as she鈥檚 accusing my hubby of hitting her, which is rubbish, the Police Officer said for her own safety she can't come home that night, they had to find her somewhere safe for the night! I explained exactly what happened but it made no difference.
She stayed with her Grandparents for a few days as my hubby wanted her to have some cooling off time. Well, then my daughter went to people who we have known for some years %26amp; have not had much to do with each other. We have had phone calls off of the couple where our daughters staying, some things said which have not been very nice, we realise that our daughter has been telling an awful lot of lies to them, we have tried to put them straight but they don't believe us. We were told last night our daughter has been using their phone to keep in contact with this 19yr old lad %26amp; that she is never coming home as she doesn't want to.
Obviously my hubby %26amp; I are very upset about this as all we've tried to do was bring her up nicely %26amp; lead her the correct way in life so she's a decent person, believe me she's been hard work!
Social Services %26amp; Police won't get involved, neither of them can go %26amp; drag her out %26amp; bring her back home where she belongs, as long as she's safe there's nothing we can do. (We have told this couple we want her home, time %26amp; time again)
I need advice about money etc what they can claim off of us for having her live with them. I know it's our duty to pay for our child. We have no idea what to expect to happen next.
Please, please can anybody help us %26amp; tell us what to do.
Thanks to all who reply. Jx
Were in the UKLegal advice please on absent teenager?
You poor thing, it sounds like you're having an awful time. My mum always said that girls are the worst! I was an awful teenager. I think all you can do is be glad that she's safe with this couple and try to keep is contact with them. I'm sure that they'll soon see what a loser this bloke is for themselves and then realise that it's not all your fault.
You've just got to be there for her when she decides to come back with her tail between her legs (which she will). If you keep on at her you'll just push her away even more. As for money, it'll probably be a percentage of what you earn. (don't know for sure)Legal advice please on absent teenager?
I think the fact that you use the word ';hubby'; is the source of all your problems.
why you calling him your hubby and not her father? It seems you are taking ownership of him rather than allowing him to be the one his daughter can depend on.
Your daughter may need to talk to you alone . Think of it like this you are in the situation u can not control . She is talking to this 19 year old at the place she is staying against what u want. She is doing it anyways and your attempt to stop it has failed.
Theres a saying that there is more than one way to get what u want.
A mediator which the girl trusts can get u into that door. Open the invite for her to come back home by yourself with the mediator with more relaxed house rules.
Sometimes kids need to fall and u catch them before they learn rather than taking the tough approach and say dont do this or that. I undertstand your situation where u dont want your daughter to make the mistake of getting pregnant at a young age . But would you rather u have this situation in a controlled environment where u monotor it in your home or somewhere else where u dont know whats happening.
If something were to happen u would be in a position to stop it from happening.
Agreed house rules set out before her moving her back in is the answer. Do not be strict you want her back home. You need to give her something . Set it out , what she wants and what you want , when you want her home and when she can go out. Phone calls if shes out late or running late but the freedom to naivgate her life without going out to the wrong places.
Talk about it with the mediator and your daughter before she comes home and go through the process which can take several weeks. In your daughters eyes she will see it as you being on her side a bit instead of your ddaughter against the world.
Because think about it right now , who is on your daughters side? noone but the 19 year old , the one person u dont think is the right person. You need to get into that door again. Standing your ground is not the answer.
Otherwise pay the child support to the new people and let them deal with it.
It's sad to say, but bringing in the law almost always makes a bigger mess for everyone. If you did your honest best a parents, all you can do now is leave it in God's hands. Your daughter knows your values. Whether she follows them or not is up to her at her age.
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