Monday, July 26, 2010

Anyone have good advice for a mom of a teenager with oppositional defiance disorder (odd)?

We've been to both individual and family counseling for almost 2 years. Teenager's behavior/mood have not improved. Internalizes anger. Doesn't cooperate with anyone at home or at school. Feels respect is not due to anyone on earth ever (not parents, teachers, or anyone in authoritative figure). Narcissistic. Sense of self entitlement. Bad grades. Never finishes school or home work. Never completes chores. No interest in anything. Hates the world and everyone in it.... I'm spent. HELP!!! Anyone have good advice for a mom of a teenager with oppositional defiance disorder (odd)?
Oh, wow...I can really empathize with what you're going through. My 30-year old daughter is bipolar, and I've cried buckets of tears with the frustration, worry, and disappointment from her endless drama.





For my daughter, all the counseling and psycho-analysis in the world wouldn't have changed a thing. She didn't begin resembling a human until she finally found a good mental health doctor who knows the right mix of meds that she needed. Is your teen on any meds? Don't let friends, family, or neighbors shame you into refusing to get your teen on meds. Dealing with mental illness is a nightmare, and unfair as it feels, the buck stops with we poor parents. So, be an aggressive advocate for your teen's needs (as well as the needs of you and your family for a little peace and control).





Also, if you've been seeing the same therapist all this time without progress, then get a new one. If patient and therapist don't ';click';, there will be no progress at all. If your family doctor won't prescribe meds, then find one who will. Find a mental health support group aimed at helping families cope.





Also, read through the good points on the Mayo Clinic's website, just in case there's something there you have't already tried. Depending on how old your teen is, you might have to being the process of ';detatching'; yourself from the drama - if it's possible at this stage.





God, I really feel for you. Best of luck!!Anyone have good advice for a mom of a teenager with oppositional defiance disorder (odd)?
Thank you all for your suggestions. They are greatly appreciated.

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Odd? no it isn't..... HARD - truly!


This is harder than usual because you have absolutely NO CONTROL over how your son behaves or thinks and any attempts at normal parenting or discipline are no doubt USELESS - am I right?





You have to realize that you have a DISABLED CHILD - that won't make him any easier but you have to start viewing HIM differently and remember that it may never change and somehow come to terms with WHO HE IS now - for the better or worse.





I know being a parent really sucks sometimes (I have 4 also) and we can't stop being one EVER - even at times such as this. Certainly there has to be some support groups in your area. YOU need some local, friendly, compassionate ears and friends who understand are are going through the same thing as you. Check your local counselors office for referrals. It might give you some degree of BREAK. I'm so sorry.... you do sound SPENT.
try finding something they like. anything. they cant possibly hate everything.
God help you.
Sorry .. this matches some symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and that requires long term institutional care to help.


Symptoms





The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder revolve around a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and sense of entitlement. Often individuals feel overly important and will exaggerate achievements and will accept, and often demand, praise and admiration despite worthy achievements. They may be overwhelmed with fantasies involving unlimited success, power, love, or beauty and feel that they can only be understood by others who are, like them, superior in some aspect of life.There is a sense of entitlement, of being more deserving than others based solely on their superiority. These symptoms, however, are a result of an underlying sense of inferiority and are often seen as overcompensation. Because of this, they are often envious and even angry of others who have more, receive more respect or attention, or otherwise steal away the spotlight.





just keep weapons out of his reach. Don't let him get interested in them. Limit his exposure to violent influences.. Let him feel free to talk and don't be judgmental..even if warranted.. you just want to see where his mind is ..and make sure he's not planning on something rash against you.. . .. more opposition. give two choices when asking for tasks..and stay near by till completed.. help him along..encourage him but don't be confrontational..


might need to look at a small faith based alternative school for completing his education.. if you have a belief system start there.. ..if not homeschooling is not an option..





You can look into your county or state institutions. They have programs that will help shelter teens that have concerns that overwhelm parents. .. Texas has such programs with mhmr..


The programs help the kids learn to deal with their families in more meaningful ways and help families learn to work through the problems. .. and find permanent solutions with out ';ongoing therapy'; that could drain a families pockets.


The programs usually are as needed. .. some are in house sheltering programs and some are done out patient basis.





This is from the dsm


http://allpsych.com/disorders/personalit鈥?/a>


and from working with kids with similar and worse issues.

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